Soul Mates, Sex and Spirit

Soul mates are simply those beings from your soul group. Again, I have to say, common understanding of this is ‘my’ soul mate or ‘twin flame’ stems from their attachment to needing to ‘own’ everything as theirs, as part of their survival persona. People want to make themselves feel more special so they invent romanticized personas for other people as extensions of their own, usually because they see themselves as incomplete or do not love themselves enough. Your spirit is neither male or female, it does not need anything or anyone else to exist for eternity in utter joy and bliss. It is already complete, it does not need something ‘else’ to be complete. Any twin flame or soul mate perceived would simply be an extension of persona of one soul or two, who of course, are free to create that for themselves as a reality in the spirit world, should they so wish. I have no objections to romanticism.

Returning a focus upon this idea of blissful overwhelming love conceptualized by the human mind in the form of soul mates and twin flames:

This deep penetrating union of merged soul energy can be readily experienced in the spirit realm by any two beings, simply by mutual agreement. Any two beings can merge their entire being, their divine light into and within one another in order to experience a love so profound, a feel so incredible that the love you know of in human form would seem infinitely minuscule in comparison. This bonding is not reserved for merely two twin beings, but is a gift given and shared between all beings, for all beings are equal and have the same right, and same source given power as any other. The love and bond felt and spoken about by those in human form who call themselves soul mates and twin flames are merely describing the love which is commonplace between each and every spirit in the spirit world. They are so taken by this alien sensation they think in haste to call it intimately and ultimately theirs, and theirs alone. This is the human survival ego taking control, as was spoken about.

You ask of my words in response to twin flames. Agreeably quite the romanticised concept which is indulged by many, and understandably so. It is a concept created from human persona and an aspect of the human animal self-nurturing instinct. It is also an aspect of human behaviour, in the sense of reinforcing their sense of ownership of something else. The ownership of a feeling, of a connection.

The physical environment in which each person is immersed does not presently support, in any consistency to sustain lasting joy, those sacred values which represent your core energy identity or soul group heritage. The very surroundings, dependent lifestyles and pressures imposed upon you as a human being, within the human society you have submitted to stifles and represses your inner spiritual harmonic nature. Because the foundation of your repressive societies, your suffocating cities and your unhealthy life choices do not support or express your natural spiritual values, you consequently develop a deep yearning, and thus seek connection to something you feel you are missing. This attracts you to the ‘twin flame’ fantasy which humanity has invented in order to place something outside of yourself towards which you may actively aspire and seek to resolve your sense of lack. The very environment you choose to accept and immerse in persuades you that you actually lack something, whereas in advanced civilisations the environment reveals them to possess everything.

The nature of human beings is that when they do not recognise something within themselves, in their own value, they will always, in all ways, seek it through an external form. When something or someone external to themselves fulfils the role of a specific yearning or connection they assign superior value to it and place ownership of it as ‘theirs’; their soul mate; their twin flame; their destiny; their planet; their children. Then on occasion you will have a psychic reader who comes along and informs you that such and such is your soul mate, promoting an attitude of ownership and necessity over another sentient being. Further to this, where those others are said to have found ‘theirs’, their soul mate and their twin flame, this promotes in those who have not a sense of grief and incompleteness, for they now have less Self-worth. It is no wonder there are millions who feel they do not belong. If their external environment reflected and promoted their natural spiritual nature they would in fact feel they belonged, for they would be immersed in everything that they love and all that they represent in their greatest and grandest vision of themselves.

Your spirit is equal to that which is prime creator. It is neither male or female and does not need relationships of the structure and nature of those found on Earth. The purpose of human relationships on planet Earth is to interact with other soul groups that represent a different origin, set of principles and characteristics. This interactivity in physical state heralds understanding, compassion and a ground for common connection and sharing. During this process on Earth the differences in core energy vibration between beings, between soul groups, are experienced through differences in personality, morality, behaviour, emotional and mental expression, capacity, ability and creativity.

When you meet someone who fulfills the human belief of a soul mate or twin flame what is really happening is that you are familiarizing yourself with that other beings core energy vibration. The human condition and way of life masks much of the core vibration of many human beings, but under specific conditions favourable to two beings, one or both can become receptive to the core energy signature behind the mask. This sense of familiarity and connection is actually, for the most part, the feeling every being in the spirit world has for one another; it is, in a sense, the natural way spirit feel for each other in the spirit world, but to the human mind and intellect, it is equated to something ‘special’ and unique. The individual(s) will then place a sense of ownership upon that sensations and call it a twin flame/soul mate. This is very understandable, for most human beings are cut off from their own beautiful spirit, so they do not comprehend or know how to relate to certain feelings and connections which they deem so elusive and mystical. I tell you this, from the bottom of my heart, in all sincerity and honesty, this feeling so commonly referred to as twin flame, you will feel for all beings in your grandest state of your beautiful spirit, in your greatest experience of who you truly are. This truth comes from the highest light, the greatest wisdom of the universe. It is yours to own should you wish, but is experienced more profoundly when shared.

If you are asking whether there is an equivalent to a soul mate or twin flame at a spirit level, then my answer would be “Self-realization”, which means, when the totality of all that your spirit is, becomes Self-realized, when all that you are is personified, embodied and experienced (which in actuality is what you are doing anyway). So in a sense, when you come to the realization that this harmony, this relationship between your spirit and its journey of Self-creation is the most divine twining of all, then this becomes your optimal beloved state of union.

When we speak of the highest and greatest truth, at times we must, we can describe and relate this to that which allows all beings, regardless of who they are, to see themselves in their grandest and greatest vision of who they aspire themselves to be. The greatest truth does not speak of separation, but of connection. The greatest truth does not speak of fear, but of love. The greatest truth does not benefit the one, but all beings of all origin simultaneously. This is sacred truth, spiritual truth, universal truth.

Personal truth, we may suggest, is that which allows the individual being to fulfil a specific thought pattern. It is a collection of energy waves, or collection of information which an individual places ownership of in order to experience their Self within a specific intention and perspective. When an individual places ownership onto thoughts, those thoughts become their personal truth.

Now, let us speak briefly on the matter of merging within spirit state. I can observe some confusion in some where they do not quite grasp the merging of consciousness between themselves and others, and some are afraid of losing their human identity, memories and attachments in doing so. I would like to first reassure such people that while it is possible to consciously merge yourself with another being, or many thousands of other beings simultaneously, and function as a singular entity, you will never, ever, lose your individual identity. This is to say, in the spirit world, there will never be a time when you lose your persona of ‘I’ or the awareness of your own individual free will. You will always retain your cellular and consciousness memories of your human identity, their associated traits and habits, but it will simply be that, over a sense of time, in human understanding, your human persona will melt away and will no longer be necessary to uphold or adhere to. In actual fact, you will find applying yourself as a singular confined carbon identity rather limiting and not applicable to many other dimensions and energy states you will later encounter. Though you will gradually dissolve this human persona, it will never be completely lost, and many choose to wear it within the spirit world many hundreds of years after their passing.

Now I understand the strong feelings of love and connection many human beings feel for one another, who often have been so bereft of deep unconditional love previously that they identify their relationships as being something destined, soul-matched or uniquely special. This can be a very beautiful experience discovered and shared between two human beings, or in fact I have to say, between two beings of different species. Never the less, the love felt between two human beings, within their current evolutional capacity to feel and develop emotion, is miniscule compared to the love, acceptance and compassion which is shared in currency within much of the spirit world. In a sense, if I may explain it differently, deeply loving intimate relationships with spouses, offspring or household pets is, at present, humanities highest capacity to comprehend their natural state of feeling within the spirit world. This will change in the future, but at the moment many human beings still place ownership on this feeling, this experience, because they identify it as being very sacred and meaningful. I have seen many so-called spiritualists even denote that such love and connection is only possible by ascension or mastery, and it is something reserved for a few with hundreds of successive lifetimes and spotless spiritual résumés. This is complete nonsense. I say to you, this love and feeling of connection will be perpetual and permeate your entire existence in the spirit world. If you so choose.

Now then, when we take a closer look at those spouses, offspring and beloved pets we have shared human lives with, this too seems a bit blurred to some. Understand first and foremost, you are a being who has existed for many millions of years with an individual identity, far, far exceeding the age and birth of planet Earth. Throughout that time you have developed a significant network of bonds between a great expanse of many different beings, life forms of all shapes and sizes, of all origins. The love you now feel for one another is very much like the love you currently feel for your beloved partner, only that it does not have the limitations and boundaries experienced in physical state. So, in a sense, it is currently beyond anything you have currently experienced on Earth. The bond and love of your soul group far exceeds most of everything else simply because you have been together throughout your entire journey as that which you are, over many millions of years in human perception.

So then, does this mean the bond of love and relationships with these Earthly counterparts ceases to be of value or meaning once you have reintegrated back into this ocean of love? That really depends on the individual and their desire to progress and express themselves. Most, of course, do retain a special bond with their Earthly counterparts throughout much of their spirit journey. Even though marriage does not exist in the spirit world, and relationships are not based on human-animal courtship instincts, these shared experiences stay with you forever and you will both choose to interact with one another using your human personas for the sentimental values they represent. This in the same way as you would perhaps choose to wear a swimming costume to go swimming; it serves a purpose. Over time however, perhaps over hundreds of years, you both will gradually cease to use your human appearances to interact with one another, and simply engage one another in your natural state.

The love and bond between beings of human relationships, whilst in the spirit world, tend to be based on their shared physical experiences, and in honour and recognition of them, certain human behaviours and past times are relived from time to time. Even though your love and devotion is no longer limited to a spouse or child, because these are personas, the experience of your spirit identity living within this type of relationship construct is something highly valued and cherished, and something which is celebrated and remembered. So even though you will, eventually, not associate yourselves as human partners after you reintegrate with your ancient spirit identity, to honour that past experience you will both play out, or re-enact this connection from time to time in the highest respect and gratification. I know this is difficult to understand whilst still within human persona.

To speak again of soul groups, these are those beings who traverse the expanse of the universe carrying your unique core energy vibration; the fingerprint of energy behaviour that you resonate to. In other words, it is like you are all one being, but having millions of different experiences simultaneously in many different personas and professions of identity. They will not all be from Earth, and in fact most will not. Most will actually never have had a physical life at all, but be of a pure spirit identity that has chosen a persona for itself based on what it has observed from the spirit world. Your bond with these beings is most profound because nothing else in the entire universe exists that resonates more closely with you than they. I hope you can understand this. While your bond with your loving spouse is very strong indeed, for it is the closest and deepest concept of love you currently experience, and while I aspire not to diminish its value or meaning in any way, I am however saying there is a much more profound connection that awaits you to come.

Yes, my friend, you have shared tearful heart warming moments together, which will exist from now until eternity. Yet there is also another bond you have which has already existed, for what to you would be experienced as an eternity. A bond which has been shared while new planets have formed, and while whole civilizations have perished, and you have embraced one another in sorrow and anguish. A bond which has seen you traverse the universe hand in hand together, at each others side, in loving guidance, in the utmost dedicated self-less service to one another. A bond which has existed for millions of years, as if akin to two children growing up together who have lived many thousands of lives together side by side. This, my dear friend, is the bond you have with your soul group which is unlike anything the planet Earth can offer you in physical state. Be open and live true to the love and bond with your beloved, but so too be open and true to the love and bond with that which awaits you at home.

Sex and Spirit

The physical act of sex is not practiced in the spirit world. For this reason you can perhaps understand why so many souls choose to have a physical experience. The desire to fulfil these sexual needs originates partly from your chemical and physical urges, which you will no longer have to the same degree when you pass. With this said, what you believe you will want, and what you will come to want will likely be very different, as it tends to be the case for many.

Allow me to relay the advantage of experience to your understanding. As you graduate closer towards your original soul group and your own spirit source from where you truly reside, you will actually find that your thoughts and feelings merge with the energy of unconditional love. This is to say, the energy of unconditional love actually becomes a type of oxygen that you breathe once in the realms of light. It is absolutely everywhere, you cannot escape it, for it permeates and penetrates your very soul. The vibration of your thoughts and feelings in response to this saturation of sublime ecstasy is that they function as one without conflict or hesitation, and your very thoughts themselves change from what you presently know and experience on Earth.

How does this relate to sex? I will tell you.

The feeling of ecstasy you experience during the physical act of sex is absolutely miniscule in comparison to the ecstasy you will experience in this state of being one with your spirit once more. This is not a romanticised exaggeration or painted fairy tale; you simply cannot presently conceive of a state where you are in constant ecstasy, and so you feel you must re-enact these merging of energies in order to reproduce the sensation you are so fond of. What I am telling you is that this is actually your normal natural state as a spirit entity in the spirit realm, that is why you are actually so drawn to reproduce and re-enact it in your physical world.

The spirit itself is genderless. The soul is a combination of both male and female energies depending on their soul journey up to that moment. Whether they choose to wear the form of a male or female in the afterlife is purely a matter of individual identity and character choice. This is the aspect of ego, which gives you your ability to have the personality that you have, and then wear an image that best personifies that personality for your self gratification. Ego is to be understood as not a negative aspect of yourself, but a means to experience expression and creation. Every beautiful song written or love letter written to a spouse comes through ego. Or a piece of art or architect. People often misunderstand this, and focus purely on the opposite spectrum of ego which gets the finger pointed at as ‘bad’.

The energy that ignites the desire for sex with another human being is still experienced in the afterlife, but in a different way. It is not felt as a desire to perform animal-like practices, but is felt as a desire to be of service to someone else. To give something of yourself to that other. This can be in the form of all sorts of deeds and creative phenomenon, not even imagined on Earth. One of the most beautiful is a type of merging experience shared by two beings. They will come together to create a unified moulding of the energy between both beings, sharing with one another every intimate sensation, thought and feeling they have within their deepest core. Like two flames from two candles merging together as one. In that moment the two temporarily become as one. This is unlike anything experienced in human form.

If you and your partner share a mutual desire to reanimate your sexual experiences, then this will be done by an exchange of cellular memory transfer as I have explained earlier. The sensations both of you once experienced as human beings will be relived, but they will become merged and the experience will become far more profound than any physical experience. It will be so because not only will you feel what your partner causes you to feel in that moment, but you will also feel everything that he or she feels simultaneously. Instead of a biological orgasm you will instead enter a completely new state of consciousness altogether and temporarily experience what can be described as the nirvana of God.

The spirit world can be a profoundly intimate and romantic landscape beyond anything planet Earth can currently offer. Addition to this, there are a great many souls who desire a deeply loving relationship in ways they could never have while on Earth, for whatever reason, many of whom seek a second chance in love. Love, in all forms, including romantic love, are strongly encouraged and supported by billions of beings of all shapes and sizes here. There are beings who know your own desires before you do, and though you may never physically see them, they may work behind the scenes to provide you with what you deeply desire most. If your intention is sincere, there are those who are always watching you who will make what you desire come into fruition.

Sex in physical form, with all its chemical and mental/emotional stimulations is considered a sacred and privileged experience for the soul. So too the practice of self-love in similar respect. It is a shame so much taboo is placed on these gifts.

Sexuality has much to do with the chemical conditions within the physical offspring as it develops in the womb; how residual layers of instructional information within genes are passed by the father or the mother to influence the offspring’s instinctual behaviour. Being homosexual in nature is the product of biological nature and expression. It is not a reserved occurrence within the human race, but is evident within many others. It is not by nature a choice that someone becomes gay, it is an instinct imposed upon them by their inherited genetic attributes which wish to express themselves. Just in the way human beings like to personify God as an individual and debate his nature, they also like to personify a homosexual into a stereotype instead of understanding the smaller parts and mechanisms are what are seeking that expression, that behaviour through that persona. What each individual learns from this experience is of their own making, within their own unique perspective.



About Bob OHearn

My name is Bob O'Hearn, and I live with my Beloved Mate, Mazie, in the foothills of the Northern California Sierra Nevada Mountains. I have a number of blog sites you may enjoy: Photo Gallery: Essays on the Conscious Process: Compiled Poetry and Prosetry: Verses and ramblings on life as it is: Verses and Variations on the Investigation of Mind Nature: Verses on the Play of Consciousness: Poetic Fiction, Fable, Fantabulation: Poems of the Mountain Hermit: Love Poems from The Book of Yes: Autobiographical Fragments, Memories, Stories, and Tall Tales: Ancient and modern spiritual texts, creatively refreshed: Writings from selected Western Mystics, Classic and Modern: Wisdom of a Spirit Guide: Thank You!
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8 Responses to Soul Mates, Sex and Spirit

  1. Bob OHearn says:

    Additional from Sparrow on Soul mates:

    There exists many forms of philosophy and debate in regard to this soulmate subject. Even though I continue to remind human beings that their spirit is a self-sovereign, self-fulfilled energy which lacks nothing, the mind of man still persists to invent these absorbent romanticised notions where they set themselves up as being incomplete without some other external energy or entity. I remind the mind of many that this grand love they feel is simply a glimpse of the love which permeates between ALL beings in the spirit world, and in fact is your spirits natural state of connection with all life, not reserved for just one human soul. It is the human mind, the human ego and possessive nature which attempts to define and claim another life form as belonging to them, or they somehow being incomplete without another individual being. It is this possessiveness and desire to claim something as yours which further adds to your pain, your suffering and your diminished self-worth following the absence of another.


  2. robjam972000 says:

    Yes, I certainly agree with what Sparrow has to say on the topic of Soulmates etc. I do think we incarnate with if you want to use terminology close soul family. My twin sister who recently died would be described as a Twin Flame of mine. The bond we shared was so special that I knew I have been with her soul for eons that we chose to come in this life as Twin Sisters

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Linda says:

    Beautiful explanation. What I choose to call soulmates are souls from my soul family. That is not to say that unconditional love only exists between those soul family members, but soulmates provide a sense of similarity that I yearn for. That’s why I want a romantic partner to be from my soul family group. That’s the downside of knowing certain things. You won’t go for less, at least I won’t. I want to be truly known by a partner. That provides the greatest balance within the relationship. But it is harder to find.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Linda says:

    By the way, on ‘the other side’ souls are not instantly capable of merging with every other possible soul. In the afterlife the learning process goes on. Therefore there are structures there as well (like soul families etc.). The oneness is to be strived for in the end, but it’s all a process.


  5. beverleyproemper says:

    brilliant! I just love authenticity and simplicity in bringing our message to One and All, thank You Bob, wonderfully explained,

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Bob OHearn says:

    “The soul merging experience is an act of intent to join intimately and unconditionally with the absolute essence and omnipresence of another entity or object of affection. It is the melting away of all barriers, all judgements and illusions of separation between two or more distinct identities of consciousness; it is the collision of infinitely diverse frequencies of thought and feeling in an explosion of divine celebration; it is the considerable complexities of cosmic connections made whole and complete in the image and likeness of the Prime Creator.

    When two or more distinct sources of consciousness, whether assumed as identities or representations of an archetypal energy manifestation, come together in the absolute unified marriage of will and intimacy, the participating counterparts temporarily lose sense of their separate destinies and give birth to a completely new and wondrous energetic intention in a co-joining of consciousness.

    On Earth two co-joining participants may experience this enactment through electrifying orgasm which ignites the collaboration of two energies into one to form a beautiful offspring. That offspring then embodies the marriage of both genetic journeys which envelopes the very best, as well as the very worst, intricate ingredients of both parents. In the realms of light this process is instantaneous and indivisible, in that, there is no external offspring, but instead the two can become a child and creation of themselves.”



  7. Bob OHearn says:

    When human consciousness transitions to the spiritual planes all behavioural characteristics are retained which composes the individual. This means the personality and core identity traits of an individual are reanimated on a higher frequency of consciousness. How an individual soul processes these traits and integrates their thought processes within a higher frequency of consciousness will dictate whether they are transcended or entrenched. The answer to your question then relates not to how they were on Earth, but how they choose to be in light of newly available doors of wisdom and understanding available to them in the spirit realms. However, while many of such doors of opportunity and spirit reintegration exist, in each instance it hinges upon each individual to surpass their own human barriers and prejudices to gain access to their more universal cosmic qualities that surpass human conditioning. The rate of which all of this takes place is determined by the will and intention of each individual and what they wish to do with themselves in the etheric realms.

    Speaking on more broader terms, the taboo of sexuality is very much a human condition and it is not something which exists in the wider communities of the spirit realms of which you will inhabit. Your human sexuality is not something which will endure on higher frequency planes; you will cease to give it another thought because it will no longer be of any importance to you. You will neither be limited to being male or female and inherently hold qualities of both genders and all sexualities as a sentient light being.



  8. Bob OHearn says:

    “Do not waste a single moment in guilt of something that feels so good, so right, and so natural to the celebration of life. Orgasm is a mechanism designed to connect you both with yourself and to other beings on a deeper energetic level. Many species outside of Earth, and many species upon the Earth practice sex and love making with multiple partners without guilt. It is only human beings who hold this taboo surrounding sex and self-pleasure which is completely unwarranted. Listen to your body and its needs in order to nourish and nurture it in love, and not the mind which tries to tell you what is right and wrong. The heart will speak the truth for it comes from a place of nurture. All those who truly love you, in this world and in the next, understand the need and practice of self-nurture and self-love within a world often void of it. It is the very driving element of nature and growth.

    If you are concerned about what those in spirit think about what you do with your physical body, do not worry, their only concern is what you do with your soul. To feed the soul one must occasionally pursue joys of the body.

    The greatest joy and the greatest love in the universe was never meant to be shared with just one person. This is why infinity exists; embrace the infinite experiences of the infinite possibilities of the infinite capacity of what love can become. What you know love to be, as a human being, is but a drop in the ocean of what love can truly be beyond what you are presently. Allow yourself a glimpse into the horizon of new possibility, that a new day may dawn a new chapter of love made manifest.”



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